kichik.net

Memory is a fascinating mechanism. Electric currents running through biological matter draw input from sensitive organs and store anything from scents and pictures and all the way to logical conclusions. It’s the simplest time-machine implementation and it’s embedded in our brains, allowing us to travel back in to our history.

Commonly, it’s divided to short-term memory and long-term memory. Short-term memory is the working memory. It holds temporary but currently-crucial information retrieved from sensors, long-term memory or the result of a mental process. It is estimated that short-term memory is capable of holding up to seven items at any given time. As with many other areas in life, that number is magical and quite stubborn at keeping its status quo. To that end, common memory improvement techniques focus on methods of getting around that number instead of increasing it. A method I affectionately call “divide and conquer” suggests grouping items and memorizing the groups instead of the items themselves, so that more items can be memorized. It’s actually an expansion of the very basic naming method. Complicated items can be easily memorized when named — the very basic of all languages; allowing the commutation of complicated matters with simple words.

One of the most obvious implementations of these methods is known simply as “list”. By numbering and even naming large chunks of data, information could be efficiently conveyed and referenced. Under this principal books are divided into chapters, rules are presented as a list of do and don’ts, everything is divided to magical three items, and complicated ideas are abstracted and listed so that they may serve as a fertile ground for even greater ideas.

The problem with popular and useful methods is their wide abuse. Lately, I’ve witnessed an abundance of articles containing nothing but a list with sparse content and a very thin thread holding the bullets together. To help combat this epidemic, I hereby propose my list of list-don’ts.

1. While a very good memory technique, a list without any content is worthless. Forging pointless data into a list will not breath life into it. At the very best, it’d help the pointless data being pointlessly forgotten.
2. Lack of good transition between paragraphs qualifies for more content or some transitional devices and not a list.
3. Bullets before the punch line won’t necessarily make it funnier. It will, however, make the journey leading to the punch line a boring one.
4. There are rare cases where a list genuinely qualifies. There is no need to overstate this by noting it in the title.
5. When already writing a list, keep it short and to the point. Three, seven, ten and thirteen are nice magical numbers. That’s not a good enough reason to pad lists.

Humanity is doomed. We are just too brilliant to keep on living. Everyone can feel it, but like the sheep we are, we fail to notice the looming cliff ledge, slowly pacing towards our inescapable demise. We have outgrown our intellectual capacity. Any bit of information added since 2781 BC brings destiny a step closer. We are facing imminent extinction by the hands of our own wisdom.

Being the average sheep herd we are, we have our share of black sheep. Some of them have taken it upon themselves to enlighten the herd and warn us of the danger looming ahead. News networks all over the globe are alerting the homo sapiens species of the grave dangers unfolding in front of their unsuspecting herd. Every self-respecting website publishes at least one article spelling out the well known fact that technology is extremely dangerous. Not even one newspaper failed to bring forth today’s hot headline - “Modern day technology is the bane of our existence”. Radio broadcasts elaborate - “It thins out the herd”. Ewes, rams and lambs alike all know by now that using technology limits the herd’s collective intellect, slowly turning it to a crowd of brainless zombies, unable to care for themselves.

Black sheep have successfully taught us to hinder inventions such as GPS, the Internet and computer games. Sadly, they were too late to do the same for thesaurus, books, pen and paper, wheel and fire. Those unholy inventions and discoveries have already taken their toll on the herd. Young lambs no longer look for words in the dictionary, but find them in two keyboard strokes; ewes no longer tell stories around the fireplace, but write them in books available for all; rams no longer draw on cavern walls with charcoals, but paint with too much detail and too many colors on cloth; herds no longer break their legs and perish on their way to neighbor herds, but drive in air-conditioned cars with leather seats; sheep no longer get ill of uncooked meat, but devour delicious seasoned steaks. The herd has agonized for thousands of years without even realizing it.

Clearly, scientific inventions and discoveries that ease every day lives are the devil’s brainchild. Those who know they know nothing and keep on trying to disclose as many of the meadow’s great secrets as they can are nothing but mere devil worshipers. Sheep that fear not looking beyond the grass that lies before them do nothing but harm. Foul creatures that dare share their fruit of labor so that the entire herd may advance and excel are inconsiderate, egocentric and self-serving sinners. Those who define the very meaning of being stupid by negation are the horsemen of the apocalypse.

I call to you today my fellow sheep — let us put an end to this morbid state of affairs. Let us break this vicious circle of knowledge passing, stop this vile orgy of technology and return to our lonely roots. Let us burn Google on the stake, melt our GPS-capable iPhone, demolish our libraries, drown every type of vehicle, incinerate all the books, halt all scientific progress and go look for red round small things in the big place with the green and brown big stuff where the other lamb just goed.

Apparently, I’m a brainless lump of amino acids mixed with some calcium and water wrapped in keratin. As it turns out, if I had the choice, I’d spontaneously set myself ablaze at the very first opportunity I stumble upon. If I see a ledge, I will delightfully leap ahead and form a charming crater. If I hear a car, I will undoubtfully try to stop it by hand so I can greet the driver. If a gun happens to find its way into my arms, I wouldn’t even pause to ponder and surely pull the trigger. If I become disoriented and wind up in a bar, I will purchase pure ethanol, pour it over my barren head and implore the barman for a zippo. Yes, I’m just that ignorant.

Electricity is another fine example of scary and absurd technologies fools like myself should evade. By far one of humanity’s most hazardous discoveries, this vile and corruptive force has been known to claim the lives of innumerous poor souls. It is a widely known fact that over a hundred of this world’s brightest minds buy a one-way ticket to the buzz train every single day. Thousands of households are desolated every passing minute due to electricity related complications. 8 out of 10 doctors advocate electricity-free households. Edison rolls in his grave and children weep over their lost innocence.

I was therefore not surprised to learn I was denied access to 220v-110v wall socket adapters. Usage of such mischievous tools could result in serious harm to body and property. Failure to properly connect an adapter to a wall socket could incite a fire. Failure to properly mount the cable into the adapter could result in immediate annihilation of the human race.

Hope of a better future overflows me when I learn eggheads responsible of saving me from myself have deemed this doomsday device inappropriate for mass consumption. Despite my futile attempts to dislodge the northern hemisphere by connecting my camera charger using an adapter, I’m still here to tell the tale. All I had to do is halt my quest for an adapter before the third mall and resort to soldering some spare metallic parts, unearthed from the darkest corners of the house.

Since around 1995, I’ve been using the web in one way or another. At those days, I would had been amazed to even notice the slightest proof of recognition on a face in response to the word modem. Today, on the other hand, I can’t walk on the street without hearing or seeing something related to the internet. Despite its ever growing popularity, it still carries with it a distinct odor of technology.

Just the other day, I embarked upon a quest for retrieving information on an everyday object with which I could extend my knowledge. What would later seem obvious caught me by surprise when, lucky as I may have felt, searching Google for apple resulted in what can only be described as an horrific synthesis of metallic, glossy and white alloys of plastic and aluminum; and not the sought sweet and divine composite of texture, taste and aroma I had expected. Quickly I realized my mistake and, not feeling lucky anymore, I commenced on a far less ambitious journey in the depths of the search results to find my craved fruit.

For all of those innocent souls out there looking for the tasty fruit like myself, allow me to dedicate this post and donate my page rank to 1up the original apple. Link by link, the web shall one day become humane.

On every second Tuesday of the month, Microsoft indulges us with a slew updates ranging from trivial to critical and sometimes even truly superior. Sadly, not even the most ardor imbued zealot of Windows rejuvenation can bring the updates to life without a reboot. To ensure everyone do reboot, Microsoft has added the lovely “Restart Now” dialog we have all come to cherish.

Distressing as it may be, while loved and cherished, the dialog is often the center of attention in the Windows loath-fest. Getting rid of it, however, isn’t that difficult. All it takes is killing one service.

net stop wuauserv

But what if yours truly is not near the computer on patch Tuesday and the dialog starts its cheerful countdown to complete and total annihilation of the current session? While skimming through some Group Policies, I’ve noticed there’s one for disabling this annoying reboot countdown. Simply create a DWORD named NoAutoRebootWithLoggedOnUsers under HKLM\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate\AU, set it to 1 and say bah-bye to Microsoft’s equivalent of the dreaded ad pop-up.

Microsoft’s Tim Rains has more details on the subject.

I’m a big fan of shortcuts. I meet them everywhere and greet them nicely. On Internet Relay Chat, Instant Messaging, signs on the road and of course Short Message Service. The name already suggests it. The entire system was designed for short messages, so acronyms and other shortcuts are a must. There’s a limit on the number of characters you can send and when you cross that limit, you pay more. It’s understandable why users would want to cut back on characters and even words. Still, I find myself repeatedly writing full sentences.

That’s why I like T9 so much. Not only does it allow me to write messages faster, but due to its somewhat broad acceptance, I also receive messages with what I’d qualify as semi-understandable content. Shiny as it may be, there’s always a glitch. The revered triple dot combo… The two first dots are displayed accurately, but by the third dot it decides a different character was typed that’s not even remotely related to the key clearly marked with the number 1. So instead of receiving the glorious triple dot combo, I get the double dot confusion bomb. Was it an accidental double dot? Was it the combo? It can completely flip the meaning of the message! How can I tell if it was “No…” as in “No, sorry…” or “No.” as in “No way!”. Am I to reply as the combo suggests a continuation is in place or am I missing an abrupt stop of the conversation? This, of course, brings us to the mystery of the ever elusive exclamation mark, but that’s a whole other story.

Yet another reason to just call…

I’ve been providing support online for a few years, mainly for my projects. Someone asks a nice challenging question, you dig in a little, possibly find a bug and fix it, give the user his answer get a nice little thank you and you’re on your way to the next question. Sadly, that ideal is far from being the reality for most questions. Most of the time questions repeat themselves, lack any challenge, lack too much information or asked in an irritable manner. Inspired by the effective bug reporting and smart questions guides, I decided to write my own version. Initially, I wanted to go with the ten commandments, but I didn’t quite see how I could fit “honor your father and mother” in. So, without further ado, I hereby present the seven deadly sins of questioning.

Lust

Moms are smart, that’s a known fact. However, they’re not always right. Especially on so called facts that contain the notorious pair of words “most important”. Breakfast is not the most important meal of day as it’s usually aimed at herbivores and you are not the most important person in the world. Nothing you ask is urgent unless other lives are at stake. There’s nothing to get passionate about. Nothing will happen if you don’t get your answer right away. Armageddon will continue lingering and your mom will still be there for you with her “most important” slogans. So chill. “Urgent” questions and vivid descriptions of how amazing your question is will not get you an answer faster.

Gluttony

Ideally, when stumbling upon an issue, you look around a bit before asking a question. You seek the solution, try to find out what’s wrong, collect as many details as you can until two or more click and you find the solution. Nothing clicks? Time to ask someone else? Don’t skimp on the details, add as many as you can. Gathering them all and then keeping them to yourself doesn’t help anybody and most certainly doesn’t help you. At the very least, describe a method of reproduction of the issue. Even the most talented support champion can’t help you with an issue that can’t be seen or described in words. Even Don Quixote had his windmills to fight.

Greed

Knowledge is power, everybody knows that. It’s only reasonable to keep it to yourself, to keep your prestigious stand. So, if after asking a question, you find the answer yourself, why bother sharing? In fact, why not ask a lot of questions and then come back later to say you solved them all by yourself? Instant self-proclaimed hotshot. Power overwhelming. Guru.

So why ask in the first place? Why be a burden? If you’re going to frustrate people by answering yourself before they get a chance or even while they’re trying to politely answer your question, at least share your findings. Even if all it took was that little search you were too lazy to do, share it so your question will rise up from its cyberspace waste status. You may even get a better solution from a true guru, or the average curious John Doe who simply knows better on your specific issue. If you don’t share, why would anyone want to share with you? P2P networks has a lot to teach us in this case.

Sloth

Time is money. Asking for something that can be easily obtained, like questions from a FAQ or searchable questions wastes your time while waiting for the answer and the other side’s time while searching for you. Search engines have been invented for a reason, FAQ pages were not written in vein and documentation files may rot, but shouldn’t be abandoned.

Even if the search comes out empty, there are other ways. Show a bit of self competence, try solving the problem yourself. Isolate the problem, test on different platforms, observe differences that cause the problem to appear, broaden your search and guess a little. You can’t expect the other side to do all the work for you. At the very least, your tests will help the other side finding the solution faster. Lazy questions inspire lazy answers.

The most annoying type of sloth is the ever so lazy request of “do it for me”. Some ask it right out, occasionally attaching a job half done, a very lacking description of things that don’t work, usually with a very descriptive “not working” text. Some simply refuse to understand the solution until it comes in the form of a full fledged example. Then, seeing as their laziness has paid off, they’ll move on to the next issue and once again stumble upon a great obstacle they can’t possibly overcome without yet another example.

Wrath

Raging and screaming won’t help you get your answer faster. It’ll only get the other side angry and unwilling while wasting your time on being calmed down. Frustrated? Upset? Furious? Leave the computer. Go meditate or something… Come back after you’ve found nirvana and everything will look better. You might even find the problem on yourself, now that you have more blood running into your brain instead of your fists.

Envy

Been waiting a while? Someone got an answer before you? Forget about the green monster. Go get some tea, sit back and relax. Posting your question in more places where “others got an answer” will only get others annoyed and confused. Which post is the newest? Where do I want to answer? Do I even want to answer and encourage this guy to post his question a zillion times and litter my beautiful piece of heaven? You should spend your time on trying to get more details for your problem instead of getting upset and confusing others.

Pride

Until proven otherwise, you don’t know best. If the computer, application or programmer’s fault is in your axiom list, you’re doomed. You’ll never find your answer by assuming it’s not your fault. Even if the problem you’re seeing is caused by a bug, you’ve triggered this bug somehow. Assuming the fault lies solely outside your reach will only get you frustrated and get you farther from redemption.

Have a little modesty, just as you’d except the other side to have. Pride is an epidemic. It rapidly infects all parties and consumes all hope of a solution, sending your time right down the drain. Declaring you know best right of the start, stating exactly what’s a right and what’s wrong, will force the other side into a defense from which you’ll have a hard time getting your answer.

Still think you know it all? Found the bug that no one else found? Do you really think such a huge bug would go unnoticed by so many people? If you are so certain, you must have a lot of information to back your claim. Post that information or face the immanent failure of finding a solution.

Imagine you had an application that gets over 1,000 downloads a day. Imagine that this application’s soul purpose is to create other applications. Imagine those applications are distributed by you users, some bigger some smaller. Imagine those derived applications get downloaded over 1,000,000 times a day. Feeling good yet?

Now imagine someone would offer you 0.001$ for each user that opens one of those derived applications. That’s over 1,000$ a day. 30,000$ a month. 360,000$ a year. Perfect, ain’t that right? You’re sitting on your porch, a beer in your hand, music in the background and the skies are raining green bills. Does it get any better?

Sounds too good to be true? How about we dig in a little? Say, mister money pants… What exactly do I have to do for this money? “Nothing really”, he responds. “All you have to do is include our little library in every derived application your application creates”, he adds. Move a little uncomfortably in your chair and he’ll satisfy you, “it just gives the user nice and unobtrusive advertisements specifically targeted at him”. Sold yet? I sure am!

So you decide to wrap it up. But you still feel a little bit uncomfortable with it. Maybe because you don’t want people to know you’re making money of your free software, or maybe because you still don’t trust this guy too much. What do you do? You move his library a bit further. Assuming your application is called XYZ, you pack money pants’ library into XYZ Media which will be silently installed by your application’s derived applications. No one will know it’s you now. It’s ingenious!

Best deal ever? Right? You dig? Well? No? Why? Come on… You with me or what? Of course not. Why would I ever want to do something like that?

1. My software is not only free, it’s open-source and is freely hosted on SourceForge. It costs me nothing but time. I’ve got no bills to cover.
2. I’ve got a job, I don’t need an additional income. I’ve also had my share of incomes from the free software, without the need for deals like that.
3. It’s completely evil. Besides forfeiting my ever-elusive seat in heaven, it’d also send my software right down the drain. Even if I remove XYZ Media later, no one will ever want to use it again. 1,000 downloads a day? Try one closed project.

As you’ve probably already guessed, I’m talking about NSIS and NSIS Media. NSIS Media is an extremely annoying adware package, or so reports say. It installs itself on both Internet Explorer and Firefox. On Firefox, it installs an extension with a file named NSIS.jar. These browser extensions pop-up advertisements titled “NSIS Media Advertisement” for the user at what appears to be random times. It shows an uninstaller in the Add/Remove control panel, but as long as the carrier program is installed, it’ll just come back.

According to reports online, it comes with eMule++ and every download from Openwares. The eMule++ installer and each installer I have downloaded from Openwares install two DLLs to the Windows directory. DLL names include wmidext.dll winsdrv.dll, msxmlu.dll and even nvrssid.dll pretending to be shell extension of nVidia. As you can see, it doesn’t really smell too good. But as can be seen in the picture below, it does ask the user for permission, at least with the original eMule++ installer.

In Openwares installers, on the other hand, there is no such page. So what is this Openwares? It’s a company that would, at least according to their front page, freely repackage your installer with NSIS, publish it on their website and on CNet’s Download.com. The latter seems to be most fertile ground for their deployment.

So is it evil or not? The eMule++ installer page might suggest it’s not. So does NSIS Media’s website, especially the uninstall page. But do they enforce this installer page on all of their partners? It doesn’t seem like they care too much for Openwares’ installers which seem to be pretty wide spread. Add the weird DLL naming and the very peculiar company name choice; and one thing you won’t get is positive credit. More specimens, outside of Openwares, or a direct contact at NSIS Media are required to determine the true nature of the beast.

But we’re not here to discuss the business affairs of this advertisement company. We have gathered here today to discuss my righteousness. Some people actually think I’m responsible for this mess. Probably some just Google up “NSIS” and find my e-mail address as the first result. But some people actually believe I’m behind this abomination. I got everything from polite requests for removal instructions to death threats. My favorites follow.

“As you can see, I am an IBM employee. Somehow the NSIS Media Trojan Horse has invaded my system. Please promptly send me instructions on how to remove it so that I don’t have to report this issue to IBM Legal.”

“CUT THE CRAP (read: spy-ware) !!!” (this one is actually longer, I trimmed it a bit…)

Some even plot a NSIS-Firefox grand conspiracy in their heads.

“Why there is no info on the Firefox / NSIS spyware scandal? Some malicious code installs into Firefox browsers and Thunderbird mail clients via JAR files by abusing a yet unpatched NSIS security hole and the bombards the user with many pop-up windows and downloads further spyware. The Net is up in arms about it, especially in Europe, where Firefox has 20% share in browsing. Firefox developers accuse NSIS developers of indifference and lazyness in fixing.”

All of the above and many more like those, got the appropriate response in the lines of “NSIS is not NSIS Media, go away”. Poor saps, fooled three times in a row. The first time, they’ve downloaded their application of choice from a bad source. Next, they miss the warning signs in the installer or all of those privacy statements. And finally, when reality pops-up in their faces, they miss the word “media” and blame yours truly.

So what have we learned today?

1. NSIS Media is in no way related to NSIS.
2. Download only from trusted sources and read carefully what the installer tells you.
3. kichik doesn’t make 1000$ a day

I went to see Fearless today. It’s nice, nothing too special. I can’t say I had a great time though. There’s just something about movie theaters that repeals me lately.

The video quality sucks. I keep seeing crackles, brown spots used to prevent ripping and black lines — early 90’s TV style. The sound quality isn’t that amazing as well. Not as rarely as I’d hope, it seems as if the non-existent computer playing the movie is passing its quota of CPU power. The surround speakers set also seems to go unused too many times. Should I even mention prices?

But I can live with all that for the big screen, the uninterrupted volume and the comfy seats. You pay for the experience just like with anything else. You pay, others pay, you get together and enjoy the goods. But some people reckon it’s not enough to keep the joy to themselves. They must share it with their friends. Loudly. Since when did it become a norm to talk in movie theaters?! Why do I have to find myself a new seat just so I can enjoy the movie quietly? Even after several undeserved polite requests, the noise just keeps on coming from every direction.

And they say piracy is the number one reason for diminishing profits…

What’s the big deal with nuclear weapons? What’s with everybody wanting them lately? What’s wrong with plain old explosives? Far be it from me to understand the costs of either choice, but it does seem somewhat fair to assume that they are cheaper to produce and maintain. The warheads might be lighter due less mechanism requirements. So the rockets can go further or simpler rockets can be used. But even if the same rockets are needed, it’s still less research and development because more information is available, more professionals are in the neighborhood and it’s much easier to get around the airports in your handbag because everybody’s focus is on the nuclear weapons. Even more, “conventional” weapons (what’s with that distinction anyway?) are safer to keep around as there’s no radiation so there’s no need for as much shielding. If it’s cheaper and faster to produce, there’s an option to produce much more warheads. This allows spreading the attack wider and makes it harder on defense as it’ll need many more defensive missiles / rockets / guns / shelters / whatever. The fact is, I can never know which one is more efficient because I don’t have all the details.

That’s the problem with all of those “secret” stuff. You can never get the details you need to make your own calculations. You always have to trust the politicians that say they have the facts. But you can’t even be sure they have the facts. In fact, opposing politicians always claim to their thesis is correct according to the facts. Some even claim to the same facts but derive different conclusions, which they conveniently call facts.

I am not sure I want all the facts of nuclear weapons freely available, but sometimes, even with simpler stuff, the secrecy overextends. Sometimes it seems like freedom of information only concerns keeping information already freely available as it is. I remember trying to figure out how come a local tax-funded television channel keeps buying new big-shot series no other channel has, right as their season ends in the USA. I had to use connections to get a “don’t worry, the prices are suitable” accompanied with a reasonable explanation why a tax-funded channel should have such series. I was kindly reminded our country is semi-socialistic and that even people who can’t or won’t pay for cable should get quality television. But we’re also semi-democratic, so why can’t I can get a copy of the budget? Though I have to be honest - I probably didn’t try hard enough.